Family

Tonight I had dinner with a friend from college and then wandered over to Gold House in hopes of seeing my old roommates and, instead, I found an empty house. As I turned to leave, I heard Elizabeth, one of the neighbor girls, call out my name and angle her bike toward the house as she rushed over to see me.

She dropped her bike on the grass and bounded up the porch stairs before throwing her arms around my ribs and giving me a giant hug. Right behind her came Niasia (Nay-Nay) and two other kids I hadn't yet met. Nay-nay literally launched herself into my arms as soon as Elizabeth let go and she refused to release me. I wasn't going to argue.

The five of us sat on the porch at Gold House as the two new kids swung back and forth on the new porch swing and sang various songs that came to mind. Nay-Nay sat in my lap with her arms tightly around my neck and her face buried in my shoulder. After a few moments, she reached up and pulled my scarf down to cover her legs then quickly returned her arm to my neck.



For at least a half an hour, we just sat there. I took a few pictures with my phone and video of the kids singing and telling me about their summer and I was just... content.



The other day I read a blog post by an old boss of mine talking about her son and it hit me pretty hard that I'm terrified that I'd screw up a kid if I were to ever have one. For so long I was ok not having any children, but as I've gotten older (yeah, yeah, I know I'm only 23), I've noticed that I actually want a family. I'm torn, though, because of my fear of irreparably screwing up another human being's life or of not loving my kids or of regretting giving up my independence. My roommate claims that the fear of screwing them up is an indication of being mature enough to have a kid. (I'm not sure if I agree)

For that half an hour, though, I held onto Nay-Nay and knew, without a doubt, that I want kids.

Cleaning out Mom's closet

I'm in Grand Rapids few days in order to help my Mom with some things around their house as well as finally pack up all of my old room and put things into storage. My room will be turned back into the guest room it became when I was living in Australia and I will be officially officially moved out. It is such a good feeling!

Today's project was to clean out my Mom's walk-in closet and we came across a few pictures and letters from decades ago. First we found a Christmas letter my parents wrote to family and friends in 1987. It was typed on a Commodore and printed on the paper that has serrated edges and each page is attached end to end.

A few of my favorite parts are as follows:

"Our big news of 1987 wasn't supposed to be 1987 news! A week ago today, December 22, Benjamin made his appearance following an interesting 8th month... the side benefit of having a baby 4 weeks early in the Kraker family is a 6 lb 6 oz weight instead of the typical 9 to 10 lbs!"

"The children are fascinated by this new creature Mom brought home from the hospital..."

"Jonathan is becoming a big boy... learning to handle an attentive little girl in his class who fetches his coat and lunch for him and likes his company at recess." (He had girls chasing him even then!)

"Matthew is our 'a finger in every pie' child. If he can look in, touch, climb on, taste, or poke something, he will! We are convinced that this quality will someday lead him into some great career of investigation, research, police work or something." (Does becoming a lawyer count?)

"Carolyn is a mixture of feminine charm, tomboyish raucousness, and 2 year old willfulness. She looks like a little Dutch doll except when shaking her finger and saying, "No! No! No!" vehemently - a favorite pastime we hope will soon pass." (That sort of passed? Well, maybe not)

Another great "letter" we found was one Benjamin wrote for a class, we're assuming, about learning to ride a bike. Apparently I taught him! I also remember teaching Matthew how to rollerblade, but he won't admit it.



My favorite part, though, is the stack of pictures we found.


Grandpa Owen, Jonathan, cousin Chris, and Uncle Jim. Even then the boys had on Notre Dame gear.



I laughed when I saw this picture and commented on how ugly that dress was, only to have Mom be horribly offended and announce that I loved that dress when I was younger. (I doubt that, but hey, I'll take her word for it)




Apparently we did this regularly after going to the store?



Benjamin and Matthew had a thing for visors.



And, finally, a picture of my parents from almost 30 years ago.

Jobs, Bikes, Dogs, Sunburns

Yesterday I interviewed with the Red Cross for the third time for the Americorps position in the disaster relief arm of the Chicago chapter.

This morning I woke up to a phone call from the woman who interviewed me.

I got the job.

In other news, today also involved a 20 mile bike ride, frisbee with the dog, thinking through iPhone options again as we went into the Apple store, and getting sunburned on my shoulders and arms.

I am sore. I am exhausted. I am happy.

Saudi Arabia... Chicago style?

Curled up on the futon, a sweaty can of Diet Coke to my right, a fan buzzing lazily a few feet in front of me, Dave Matthews Band playing.

A couple of days ago, my friend Talal made plans to visit Chicago one more time before he heads back to Saudi Arabia, potentially for good. I checked my schedule and figured that I could set aside the time I wanted to spend sleeping in, reading, walking the dog, and riding the train for fun in order to spend some time with him. My work schedule in Grand Rapids had changed last minute, giving me the weekend off.



I jumped onto the Red Line early Thursday afternoon with my book and iPod in tow, relishing the heat and unexpected sunshine that had arrived in lieu of the thunderstorms we had been expecting. I spent the following hour and a half in my own world, people watching, reading, and daydreaming with a stop for coffee in between transferring trains. Met him near at the airport and headed back downtown to listen to Faiz Ali Faiz perform at the Pavilion in Millennium Park. We moved on from there in search of sushi only to give up and go for pizza instead, then on to see Away We Go which turned out to be absolutely amazing.

Part of the goal of the Chicago visit was to provide Talal with as many opportunities to savor Nutella crepes at IHOP before leaving the good old U S of A so Friday found us searching for the nearest source. Gave up on that after getting lost once or twice and found our way to an Indian restaurant on Devon Ave. The storms hit then and provided the best weather to take a nap in so we both followed Mother Nature's suggestion and crashed for most of the afternoon. We eventually made our way to an IHOP for dinner and I drank more coffee than is wise after 8 pm. Could sleep that night so I stayed up working on Arabic on LiveMocha.com and watching movies.



Saturday involved a failed attempt at finding a Yemeni restaurant, a lot of laughing at offensive jokes, avoiding one place because there were too many Americans inside, discovering an little Iraqi place with a Russian waitress, picking up Middle Eastern sweets, borrowing a parking spot from people who actually live in the area we wanted to get onto the train, and Arabic lessons. Took the train to Michigan Ave with the intent of finding something for Talal to give his mom and sister and instead ogled the new iPhone at the giant Apple Store, buying a small notebook to write down all of the words I was learning, reading up on Saudi Arabia, attempting to find some grass to sleep on and eventually finding a sushi place for dinner where we were offered a bottle of Sake by the man sitting next to us. We watched Burn After Reading which was not nearly as funny as the previews made it out to be.





Today involved more IHOP and Nutella crepes, a few more Arabic lessons, half serious-half joking plans for me to visit Saudi Arabia, goodbyes as he headed back to Houghton to pack up his Ah-muh-ri-can life. Not a half bad weekend. . .

Riding the Red Line

This morning started out pretty slowly and it didn't take long for me to get restless in the apartment. I decided to put off unpacking my bags from my almost-2-week-road-trip and instead showered, put on some heels and a strapless dress (I always feel better when dressed up) and headed out with my CTA card in hand. I wanted to ride the train.

I got on at the Howard station, jumped off quickly to grab coffee at the Common Cup at Morse, then back on the Red Line headed toward 95th. As soon as the train pulled up to the Addison Station, just outside of Wrigley Field, you could see Cubs fans pouring out of the stadium. Many of them had reached the platform already and they piled into the train car.

An older man sat next to me and after a few moments, we started chatting about the game. The teams were tied up at 2, but he had left before the game was over and right before getting onto the train, everyone could hear the remaining fans cheering loudly so it was assumed that the Cubs had scored another run. "Probably a walk, the bases had been loaded," he said. "You have to take what you can get sometimes, so that's still a point," I replied. He grinned and nodded.

In front of me a small girl was covered from head to foot in pink Cubs clothing and had a signed baseball clutched to her chest with one hand while her other hand held tightly to her father's. She curiously watched the other passengers in the car as we kept moving.

I held my coffee in one hand and fumbled with the book I had brought along with the other. The Peaks of Yemen I Summon pulled me in as I sat in the crowded train.

The passengers thinned out as we reached downtown and became almost scarce as we passed Chinatown. I had no idea why I was still on the train, but at this point decided to ride to the end, transfer to a train going North again, and head home. The train ride was all I needed to get out of the house.

The passengers changed again and I soon realized I was the only white person in the car. Noticing the differences from the North to the South of the Red Line was interesting. I took turns between reading my book and gazing out the window at the passing buildings, cars, and people. We reached the end, I got out to throw away my coffee cup and back onto the same train to head home.

The author was detailing his trip through Saudi Arabia and the differences in how the West views poetry versus how the Middle East weaves it into their daily lives. This lead me to daydreaming as I looked out the window again. I quickly calculated how long it might take me to pay off my loans and save up money for a plane ticket, then realized that I might not have that kind of patience.

I love this city. I love riding the train. But I can't wait to get back to the desert. . .

A Mouse Named 'Abraham'

This morning I was woken up by my roommate swinging the bedroom door wide open, shuffling over to my bed, yanking on my blanket and grunting like a little kid before waving at me to follow her. Her eyes were barely open and she was obviously annoyed about something. I started to get up and quickly remembered the mouse traps we had set for the critter who had been making a meal of my dog's food in the pantry.

"It's the mouse, isn't it?"

"Yes! Ugh, he's STUCK!"

"Where?" I asked as I walked through the living room and into the kitchen, headed toward the pantry.

"There." She pointed at the french doors separating our tiny kitchen from the area we use for storage. Wedged beneath the one side was a little furry body.

"I've been trying to get him out... ok, no, I've been throwing things at him and I can't get him to move. I need your help."

Wonderful.

We worked together by pushing on the door and trying to catch him under a bowl until Lindsey realized that he actually had his one paw/arm stuck in the mousetrap on the other side of the door and that he had, in fact, been trying to get out when he got himself stuck. She quickly felt bad for him and started to stroke his back with her finger, shhhh-ing him and trying to calm him down.

"I can feel his heart slowing down a bit. Dang it, I can't kill him NOW!" She said as she continued to pet him.

We got him free, she opened the trap and carried him outside. He laid there for a few moments before getting up and, limping due to the mangled arm/leg, shuffled his way back toward the big brick building we live in.

Lindsey looked over at me and said proudly, "Well, he's fine. He's back in the apartment somewhere, so he's still alive. That's good."

I gave her a blank stare before requiring that we re-set the traps.

"That's fine. Maybe the trap will actually kill him this time! As long as I don't have to do it... he was so cute with his little face and such. I couldn't kill him. I think he needs a name."

So, now, there is a mouse named Abraham (after Lincoln) living somewhere with a mangled arm in our building.

Job hunt

I have asked friends and family if they know anyone in Chicago who may hire me, or who may know someone who may hire me...

I've checked Craigslist, SimplyHired, CareerBuilder, and the like multiple times a week.

I have filled out more applications than I can remember.

I have applied to dozens of jobs, including the following:
Case manager, Refugee project
Disaster Relief Specialist, Americorps, Red Cross
Assistant to Director, Neighbors United (non-profit, community development)
Mental Health worker (many many times)
Barista (multiple places)
Bookstore cashier
Bike messenger
Personal Banker, Chase

I started with jobs I see myself as at least mostly qualified for and that are in fields that interest me...

Then I moved on to jobs that I know I'm qualified for, even if I don't want them.

Then I moved on to jobs that I never even considered applying for, may or may not be qualified for, and have no idea if I want them at all but at this point, I'll take a job at the grocery store down the road if that's what it takes.

Commuting to Grand Rapids every other weekend is not exactly my favorite!

So, any suggestions? :)

The dog and I may both be switching to eating Ramen Noodles for a couple of months until I have a steady paycheck...

"Israel and Me"?

I was told a couple of weeks ago that my blog sort of reminds a friend of the book "Marley and Me" because I talk about my dog so often. I frequently get flack for how cool I think my dog is, so I didn't let Kara's comment phase me and I'm going to continue to comment on the ridiculous things my dog does.

For example, l took him out for a walk last night around the neighborhood and he decided that he was going to chase down and play with a raccoon that was ambling its way down the sidewalk. Most of the time when we walk, he's fine - when he starts to pull on my arm, I yank a little and say "heel" and he responds.

The problem is when he takes off out of no where and his 125 lbs pull full force on my arm, practically pulling it out of its socket while my body whiplashes to catch up. It is not a pleasant experience.

On another note, I found out today that there are no plots open in the community gardens near us (not surprised) so I'm on a waiting list and Lindsey and I will be growing things in pots this year.

I am still job hunting with limited options at the moment, but God is good and something will come up.

Becca, Jason, and Charlie (old Gold House roommates) came to visit and we had a lot of fun over the past couple of days.

I love that everyone wants to visit Chicago...

Sports Fan

After deciding to move to Chicago, my roommate and I were discussing Chicago sports teams and she explained how she is a huge White Sox fan and specifically dislikes the Cubs which could be a problem since we live closer to Wrigley Field than to US Cellular Field.

I immediately decided to become an avid Cubs fan.

Since that time, I've actually started following baseball and... surprise, surprise, I like it. What started out as something just to mess with my roommate turned into a legitimate hobby. I'm a beginner, that's for sure, but I've become a regular visitor of www.mlb.com and I at least understand the differences between the American and National Leagues.

Something I've noticed, though, is that being a sports fan is very similar to a game my little brother and I used to play growing up. When we lived up north in Michigan, we'd drive 3 hours every other weekend to see my grandparents in Holland. On the way back, Benjamin and I would sit in the back seat facing backward so we could see the cars behind us. We'd each pick a car and whichever set of headlights passed our car first (Mom was a slow driver) would win.

Neither of us had control over the cars and there really was pure luck as to which car would pass first. Granted, sports are a bit more involved, but I just keep thinking about the Sox being one car while the Cubs are another and we can only watch to see who comes out on top.

A bit of a poor analogy, but it reminded me nonetheless.

By the way, the Cubs are doing much better than the Sox this year.

Settling in with coffee in my Detroit mug to watch the Cubs-Astros game.

One more thought - My Grandmother (Mom's mom, my namesake) was a Cubs fan. How can I not follow in those footsteps??

Birthday Parties and Moving Day

Tonight was the "wine and cheese" party to celebrate Jason's and Holly's birthdays. People came and danced, sat around talking, gave the guests of honor gifts and said goodbyes to people as we're all finishing out our semester and heading different ways for the summer.

Tonight is also my last night at Gold House as a resident. Becca keeps reminding me that I'm leaving and I am coming to realize that I am actually going to miss this place and these people. I've had a year of crazy experiences, met more people than I can count, and gained a family in those at Gold House. It has been different than having roommates, which was the point to begin with, and it has started to hit me that everything is changing.

I'm excited for the next step, but it turns out... I'm also sad to leave.